Does that sound like a good headline??? I am sooooo angry right now, and NO I did not actually slap the bus driver, but man if I wasn't a nice person, or my boys hadn't been standing right there I would have!!! Maybe I am over reacting. Let me tell you some background and what happened today.
Ethan, our 5 yr old has had delays. He was diagnosed with a communication disorder/speech delay, he has been in early intervention since about 18 months old and has an IEP for school. They gave him eligibility as a student with Autism, but the school psychologist said it would most likely be classified as Aspergers. He has never been given this diagnosis from a doctor. However he does show some of the signs/symptoms. He lined his toys in rows instead of playing with them, he didn't talk till almost 3, he started reading just as he started talking right around his 3rd birthday. Ethan now reads 1st or 2nd grade level books and UNDERSTANDS them. He gets special services at school to help him express himself vocally. He has a hard time transitioning, very hard time. He doesn't like to stop an activity till he's ready and starts screaming or throwing fits, but not like a normal preschooler/kindergartner does. I knew he was having a somewhat hard time on the bus but today topped it all. The bus driver just sat there shaking her head so I asked what was the matter and she said "He's driving me nuts! I cant handle him. He starts screaming so I make him sit in the front seat and then he screams at me some more." GRRRRR, I wanted to say driving you nuts lady? Now generally Ethan, if you calmly ask him to quiet down and stop screaming, he will, but if you yell at him, it upsets him more, and he screams more and louder unable to calm himself.
Well needless to say I finally called a local developmental pediatrician and they are doing an assessment on the 30th of the month and then a visit with an Autism/Asperger's specialist November 14th. I want something besides the IEP to show this bus driver that he isn't doing it do just be annoying or make her mad. It's more than that. Plus I want the true diagnosis, whatever it may be, and maybe there is additional therapy we can do for him, but and I am being adamant and definitely jumping the gun here, there is no way in any way, shape or form that I am putting him on medication for this. He does not have out of control behaviors, like violent or emotional issues, he just has a hard time transitioning. He wants to stay at school and play with all of his good friends(which by the way he seems to be very popular with the kids on the bus TO school and the girls at school too!) but once he's home he's fine! I just am at my wit's end. Prayers would be greatly appreciated so I don't pull my hair out(or slap the driver on Monday, although I think we are taking a hiatus from the afternoon bus and I will be picking him up from school for awhile).
7 comments:
Oh Crystal! I am so, so, soooo sorry you are having to go through this!! I would have wanted to slap her, too!! There is never a case where yelling and screaming at a child, who is already visibly upset, is a good thing to do. Why don't people think about helping the poor little thing instead of venting their own frustrations in such a selfish manner? UGH! I am definitely going to be praying for you guys! I hope this didn't all happen in front of Ethan--poor little guy!
Crystal ~ Maybe someone should tell the Admin. that this bus driver is driving THEM nuts...
I'm with Jenn D. I would let the school know. I would be "interested" so to speak to see how she treats the kids when a parent is NOT around. I mean, I imagine a job like that is not a stress free one but you better prepare yourself for that and be sure you can fit the job right before you take it on.
I totally would have wanted to slap her as well. I think it's a protective Mommy thing. Hang in there we are all here for you!!! *HUGS*
Oh I am very sorry! That bus driver should be reported. That is VERY inappropriate behavior. ANY child would and does act that way after enough time on a school bus. I rode the bus k-5th grade. I KNOW they're not calm and peaceful. The driver shouldn't do the job if she cna't handle the territory!
And I feel for ya. Stress alone as the mommy, but from the teacher's standpoint (my role before kids), I know IEPs are so stressful! I hope you gain some peace w/ an accurate diagnosis.
Prayers for sure!
This makes me feel so sorry for you & Ethan. Poor child.. NO ONE should be treated like that let alone a child. I can't even imagine how he must have felt. Have you thought about maybe not even having to deal with riding the bus at all? I've always thought children are so young to ride, especially when their are older children, but I don't know your circumstances.
I agree with Jenn D... you should let the school know about it for sure.
Good for you not wanting to drug your child, you know what triggers things. Your a great mommy! *hugs* and I hope you get through this.
Thank you all for your kind comments, prayers and thoughts!
- I am calling first thing Monday morning to discuss this with the principal, and to see if I can get the tape from the videocamera(if they have one) to see what really happened. I have to see how Ethan reacted to see if and how I can help him.
Sharon- yes IEP's do make things more stressful, especially when it seems like the school dropped the ball, they should have informed the bus driver that Ethan has some issues and may have behavior problems BEFORE school started!!
Andrea- the good thing is Ethan LOVES to ride the bus, and its a different bus/driver that picks him up at 1230 to take him and she has NO problems with him, so I am, at least temporarily going to pick him up after school. It will be somewhat difficult having Alex and not having dh to watch him for a few minutes, but no big deal. Gotta do the right thing for all of us and that is getting him OFF that bus for now. These are the times I wish dh would let me homeschool, since I do know what triggers him and what works with him, better than anybody. I thought that I couldnt do it, but now I know just how well I handle the boys and how much I know them!! oh well, maybe someday if Ethan is unable to deal with it, dh will come around to the idea!
Crystal,
My son has an IEP too. You can have it written into his IEP that there be an aide or 'qualified staff' to assist him on the bus. The school must provide safe transportation to him.
I offered to train the bus driver in our case - but they have a sp. ed. bus with an additional adult so he takes that one.
Hope things get better! You DEFINITELY need to let them know that there is a bus driver conflict and the driver needs some support training in order to safely transport your son to school.
If you need any help with the nitty gritty IEP, let me know!
mommyjo2@yahoo.com (this is a different addy than my SAHCM address)
Post a Comment