For Him, I must change.

Lent is almost over.
What have I done? Not eaten meat on Fridays. Fasted on Ash Wednesday.
What have I not done? Gone to Mass.

:-(

Now I could use all the excuses I have saved up. The kids were sick. I was sick. I didn't think I could handle the 3 boys alone. But what it really boils down to is, I didn't have the desire to make myself get up and get the boys ready and go to church! It makes me very sad to think that.

I was just looking at some old posts from 2008 and whatnot. I was so "on fire" or at least more than I am now. Sure, I've made sure the boys are taking Catechism classes and E made his first Reconciliation and first Holy Communion last year. But if I'm not taking them to Mass, does any of that really matter?

Yes, it's hard to be married to a man that doesn't really believe or at least not subscribe to the "Catholic views" so to speak. Especially since I converted after we were married, in part because of his family and I wanted to raise my boys with a religion and faith in God.

I know that the only person I can change is me. Scratch that. I can attempt to better myself but only with God's help can I change. I NEED to go to confession. I NEED to receive Communion (have once or twice since E had his First Communion last May!). I NEED to pray more and teach my boys to pray. Jackson isn't even baptized yet and we don't have any plans in place to do it yet either. I knew we would probably wait till after
Lent and Easter Sunday, but I haven't even talked to our priest but once back a few months ago, November, I think.

There are so many things I'm trying to change in our lives. Better, healthier food choices, losing weight(me), convince Jason it's time for him to quit smoking, maybe moving, budget better/pay off debt, and I haven't even thought, till now, about my commitment to God...

I think it's about time.